The Messy Blog

  • GET NAKED

    It is the most extreme dating show I have ever seen. That is saying a lot as I vaguely recall late, late night channel surfing in a Tokyo hotel room many years ago and stumbling across a dating game show where a Japanese woman was full “spread eagle” with a partially peeled banana fully submerged into…her…as she waited for a male counterpart to consume the exposed portion of the fruit. It certainly was giving Veggie Tales a run for its money. 
  • THEY HAVE TO BE OLDER THAN MY SON.

    Diana was a martini and a couple of glasses of wine deep when she told me about her “rule” regarding the age cut-off of her lovers. Now, I am not a fan of rules in general, but I pride myself on being a good listener. So I perked up. 
  • A SWING AND A MISS.

    I stood there, alone in a cloud of smoke from my proverbial dumpster fire of a brand, questioning, “Why did I even try to do color cosmetics? I don’t even wear makeup!” The hardest thing about true self–reflection is being met with profound feelings of being a bonehead. It’s embarrassing and it usually triggers deeper issues we try to bury on most days.